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Ben Stiller was poncing around doing absolutely nothing notable for a whole decade before shooting to superstardom in the classic comedy hit There's Something About Mary, in which he played a bumbling nice-guy with a crush who survives a long series of hilarious misfortunes before finally winning the girl over in the end. The formula proved so successful that Stiller went on to play a bumbling nice-guy with a crush who survives a long series of hilarious misfortunes before finally winning the girl in like seventy more movies, most of them alongside partner-in-crime Owen Wilson. And trust me, I'm getting to him later. Ben Stiller exists as proof that the polite, nice-guy persona is ultimately the best way to win the hearts of the hottest women in the world. And by that I mean he's the last guy in the world to remain desperately clawing at the hope that that is true. In reality, people like Ben Stiller are almost unanimously regarded completely, incurably pathetic. In film after film, Stiller goes to increasingly wacky lengths to prove himself worthy of goddesses like Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore, as Hollywood continually tries to sell us the idea that he is somehow the definitive icon of the perfect man. In his most recent outing The Heartbreak Kid he stars as an awkward, clumsy nice-guy who becomes disillusioned with his smoking-hot wife when he discovers to his horror that she loves sex. Ben Stiller doesn't want to bone you, he just wants to cuddle a lot and talk about his feelings. Apparently somebody finds him endearing, because people have been flocking to the cinema to watch Ben Stiller being Ben Stiller about twice a year since he pioneered his archetype. He's one of those actors with whom everything he does feels like another goddamn Meet the Parents sequel. Branching out: Even Ben Stiller occasionally gets tired of being a weeping pussy, and every now and then he pens the script for a slapstick comedy and has himself cast as a self-centred jerk, a role he only takes on when Owen Wilson is absent.
Unfortunately, the egocentric dickhead Ben Stiller is even more unbearable than the awkward, nervous, friendly Ben Stiller, and although the man himself turns out to be a pretty decent comedy writer, we spend the entire duration of his cameo appearances screaming at him to get the hell off our screen. Oh, and he also did this:
Judy Greer is the petite, pointy-nosed and inexplicably hot supporting actress of dozens of forgettable romantic comedies. You probably haven't heard of her, but trust me, you know who she is - you know that movie you saw where the lead actress had a best friend who later stabbed her in the back and stole her boyfriend? That was Judy Greer. Judy is one of those stock actors who lives to fulfil a specific role that better-known actresses can't be bothered with, and as such she's disappeared into the shadows behind some of the most richest, most beautiful and no doubt most intolerable women in Hollywood. And yet it's Greer who always winds up portraying the bitch. Director Gary Winick describes Judy Greer as a "comedy genius". Her genius certainly does shine through in her large variety of fascinating roles such as Katherine Heigl's bitchy best friend, Jennifer Garner's bitchy best friend, Hugh Grant's bitchy best friend, Orlando Bloom's bitchy sister, Bryce Dallas Howard's bitchy sister, and a bitchy werewolf. The moment some A-list actress comes out and introduces her best friend or sister, and points to Judy Greer, you already know what's going to happen. "Don't trust her, girlfriend!" you want to scream, "She will steal your man! You need to kick her to the curb!" Well, you might not put it that way, but you know what I mean. Branching out: It's somewhat of a pattern with Judy Greer that whenever she's not playing the bitchy best friend, she's taking her clothes off, as she did in Nicolas Cage's masturbation fantasy sequence in Adaptation. I tend to think that this is a great new direction for Ms Greer to take, and I certainly do hope to see the trend continue.
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