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The very definition Then there are some actors who just play one role and call it a career, sometimes shaking it up a little bit by wearing a hat or a different coloured tie, maybe taking the character into space or lending his identity to an animated animal characature. These are Hollywood's typecast, the fact of whose very presence in any upcoming film serves to replace the need to actually see the film because you've seen it before. Though they might have the ability to stretch their talents just a little further given the chance, those who fall into the typecast trap usually find their careers quickly stagnate like a frozen octopus, caught playing the same role for the rest of their natural lives, and then after they die, having their roles reprised badly by Steve Martin. Following is the list of the worst victims working today. These are the actors whose range better resembles an Andy Warhol painting than an actual montage. These are Hollywood's most typecast.
Bloom, a young British actor for some reason named after an American state, first came to our screens as the wooden, androgynous, frighteningly attractive elf Legolas Greenleaf in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The role attracted the attention of millions of teenage girls and sexually confused teenage boys around the world, and soon enough he had casting agents shooting movie scripts at him from the barrel of a gatling gun. With a smirk and a smoldering glare, Bloom appeared in like ten epic movies in five years. But there is an eerie hint of similarity between the characters that this sexy midget has brought to the big screen. After only a few films, sharp-eyed cinema patrons began to notice that the posters for all of Orlando's movies are practically interchangable:
Orlando Bloom is the go-to guy for the drawn-out historical war epic. If you're making a movie about a pubescent young boy driven by revenge to take up his father's sword and learn the ways of the warrior, ultimately leading an army to victory against all odds, and probably losing his virginity to some sexy broad in the process, then there's a pretty good chance that you're going to end up casting this guy. He's the master of that sort of arbitrary historical European accent that designates a character as belonging to The Past, and he's choreographed enough sword and longbow battles that he probably waves his arms around in his sleep like he's slashing orcs, or Arabs, or Arab orcs. Branching out: Well, Orlando has sort of done a couple of other things. He appeared briefly in Ridley Scott's gritty war drama Black Hawk Down, in which he furthered the plot by falling out of a goddamn helicopter. His only notable contemporary lead role is in the Cameron Crowe romantic comedy Elizabethtown, in which he awkwardly traded his chain mail for a business suit and still gave a performance like a medieval knight who woke up in 20th Century rural America.
His outrageous underacting vanished completely under the all-consuming shroud of Kirsten Dunst's outrageous overacting, and after that he shrank back to his comfort zone, doing a bunch of sequels to that pirate movie he was shoehorned-into in the first place, and after that, absolutely nothing else. Oh, and apparently, he also did this:
But the entire population of the world can give a collective sigh of relief for the fact that they did not see this movie.
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