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Hey there, I'm Nicolas Cage. I have the power to constantly see two minutes into the future, for no reason that is ever explained. For some reason this awards me other powers such as seeing through walls and leaving my body and some other things that don't make much sense. |
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I'm Clarice Starling. Use your powers to fight crime. |
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I'd rather not. I tried that in Ghost Rider and it didn't work out so well, so I think I'll just do what any sensible person in my position would do - make money cheating in casinos. It's not stealing if it's a massive corporation. |
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Listen, shithead. You are the only person in the world who can prevent America from being blown up by terrorists of ambiguous foreign heritage whose motives we will never learn. |
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My foresight is limited to only two minutes. That's not going to help you locate a bomb hidden somewhere in America. I can hardly even find any use for it. Why can't you do it? Isn't that the FBI's job? |
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We would, but I personally ensured that all of the FBI's nationwide resources have been diverted to searching for you. |
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I have a 20 second cameo in this movie. |
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Hey Nic, I've never met you before and frankly I find you sort of ugly and more than a little creepy, but you should come with me on a road trip across America to nowhere in particular so as to further the plot. |
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Only if I can combine my powers with a lot of cheesy one-liners to con you into sleeping with me. |
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Your advances couldn't be more transparent. But ok. |
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Don't worry, all of this is just part of a premonition that I'm having, and won't actually happen for another two minutes. |
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What do you mean? |
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See? We just keep skipping around chronologically. You don't know what the fuck is real anymore. |
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I sense none of this, but I bet the audience is confused. |
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Don't worry, all of this is just part of a premonition that I'm having, and won't actually happen for another two minutes. |
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What do you mean? |
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See? We just keep skipping around chronologically. You don't know what the fuck is real anymore. |
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I sense none of this, but I bet the audience is confused. |
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Look out! Ambiguous foreign terrorists! |
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We're going to kill you to stop you from locating our bomb. |
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God damn it I don't even care about your fucking bomb go away. |
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You wouldn't even be in this mess if I wasn't such an obsessive twat. |
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Oh shit! It's happening again! |
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What? |
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We're going to kill you to stop you from locating our bomb. |
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God damn it I don't even care about your fucking bomb go away. |
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Listen, shithead. You are the only person in the world who can prevent America from being blown up by terrorists of ambiguous foreign heritage whose motives we will never learn. |
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Oh shit it's- |
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I have a 20 second cameo in this movie. |
